on the shore of the ultimate sea

Ain’t no politics like Detroit politics..

…cause in Detroit politics when you talk mess to the mayor, you get canned.

This came in over the email transom today from a friend of a friend…I haven’t asked around to follow up yet, but comes through a pretty reliable source and is interesting either way.

Apparently, this gentleman, who worked in politics, encountered scandal-collecting Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick in Reagan National in D.C. and had some words with hizzoner. Read on.


“I have, quite possibly, one of the best stories ever. It will take a bit of effort for me to properly relay it but it happened yesterday afternoon at the NWA terminal at Reagan National Airport. Here ya go.

I’m leaving the bathroom and get a text message from [redacted] that reads, “holy sh-t look who is on our plane!” So, I’m looking for a mid-level celebrity or maybe Sen. Stabenow’s fat sloppy ass when BAM – there he is. Kwame. F-cking. Kilpatrick! Being unable to resist the urge and knowing if I was successful I could get a reaction out of him I call out “Resign” as I walk past his entourage consisting of the Playa, his tax dodging chief of staff and a security officer. Didn’t hear anything in respone and wasn’t sure if he had heard me so I continued on to where we were sitting and we proceeded to laugh about what a piece of shit he is and how pathetic the citizens of Detroit are for standing by him… yada yada yada.

About 15 minutes later, I look up and the Playa is about 10 feet away TEXT MESSAGING on his phone. I couldn’t believe my good luck! With just him and his security guy around, I knew my voice would be heard. “Who ya texting Kwame… is that Christine… is that your girl Beatty?” I could see the rage filling in his face and when he turned around towards me, I gave him the thumbs down. Being unable to help himself from responding like a true gangsta that he so wishes to be (and probably is, think dead stripper from Manoogian party) he says to me in ghetto Kwame twang, “that’s how I feel about you too man.” My response: “at least I didn’t cheat on my wife and cost the city $9 million.” This got a look that showed he was REALLY wanting to punch me in the face. He then sat down and took a phone call with his back to me and Amy. At this point, we were loving life having gotten a fantastic rise out of Coleman A. Young, Jr. But it wasn’t over!! After he finished his phone call, he again couldn’t resist and my smirk must have been too much to ignore. “Keep talking white boy, keep talking” said the supposed savior of Detroit. Said I, “white boy? white boy! you pathetic racist. Why do you have to bring my race into this conversation?” I think this startled him that I wouldn’t back down and I really wanted him to make a scene or maybe even hit me. And I’m pretty sure that if his security guy wouldn’t have gotten between us, he would have. Keep in mind, I was sitting calmly and smirking at him as he charged towards me saying, “I don’t feel nothin towards you, I don’t feel nothin. You’re just a hater… you just hate… feel the hate, take it all in,” while taking his hand and pumping it over his heart. (I thought it was funny that he would claim to feel nothing towards me when he was berating me and showing everyone around us what a racist he is). “You got a bidness card I could have, I’d love to get back to you about this, I’d love to continue this another time,” he shouted as he moved closer to me. So I sat up in my chair (thinking, of course, that the last thing I’m gonna do is give this ghetto-fabalous f-ckstick a way to track me down and have me Tamara Greened) and said, “You’re getting nothing from me but my disdain. You are a pathetic disgrace and a lying, cheating racist.” Again, he came back with the clever, “keep talking white boy!” My final rejoinder, “you’re going to prison PUNK!” At this point, his security guy who never said a single word during the whole affair escorted him away from me where he went to steam with Kandia. They eyeballed me for another 5-10 minutes and as we got onto the plane I blew him a kiss.

It was the most fun I’ve ever had at an airport.”

There you have it. Apparently, KK’s down but not out–heckling dude lost his job a few days later. Whether that was by Kilpatrick’s hand or not, who can say? More details TK as they arrive…

Disclaimer: I’m more of a letter writer than a shout-across-the-airport kinda guy, especially when it comes to wounded-dog politicians, but from what I hear about Kilpatrick’s imposing physical nature and general bout-it-bout-it-ness this took some measure of guts.

Written by Nick

March 7th, 2008 at 6:32 pm

Posted in Detroit

What do you think?